I saw a cartoon in a tabloid today
About big-headed writers who sold Mary Kay
And pictures of Elvis for a buck on E-Bay.
(Sideburns puffed like my goiter, I'm carried away.)
The warden checked my shovel without delay
Since I started smashing pics of Tammy Faye.
It's round but pointy on top, just like me. Hey!
I've shoveled more shit than the KKK.
Gull droppings on my stanzas, but it's OK.
Even a river rat has its lucky day.
Love, come back to me, and never again stray
Along the boulevard looking for pimp Ray.
I turn myself on in the mirror, what say?
Poetic enemies have stolen the tray
Of birdseed put out for Olivia's bluejay.
Listening to R and B by Robert Cray,
I dance in pink panties and shock the pray
-Ing mantis (of Atlantis) into biting. Stay!
(Wooden mannequin) as my cat gets spayed
On the evening news, no more to join the fray
Of midnight mackerel bones, lovely fish fillet
Of dreams limping in a field without play.
Cover me in Dentu-Cream so I can get laid.