Saturday, January 29, 2011

Q & A With God

Me:
Hello, God. How are you?

God:
Hello child. What is your name? I'm doing fine thanks, how are you?

Me:
Frank Bummersmelt. Do you enjoy poetry?

God:
I liked the film version of "Dune.". Yes I like it, especially Longfellow.

Me:
Didn't think you were a populist. About Canadian poetry -- where is our Yeats? Baudelaire? Jewel?

God:
Do you were a populist? How old are you?
I answer a lot of silly questions. Oh yeah, we were talking about Canadian poetry where is our Yeats. Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. We have never talked about it before.

Me:
My breath units are awful. I hyperventilate and don't know when to break the line. Any suggestions?

God:
Do robots have breath units are awful? That's good information: said hyperventilate and do not know when to break the line. First you must download me to your personal computer.

Me:
Is this a sales pitch? Thought you were a low-tech desert dude? Admit it, God, you're a flarfist?

God:
No, this is real life. Am I a low tech desert dude? No. Are all Admit it God me a flarfist?

Me:
Hokay. Is there a real spiritual cost to providing free verse?

God:
What do you really want to ask me? I believe there is one, yes.

Me:
Ominous. Who was the best poet amongst the Bible writers, and did you have an ...er .. inspiration in any of it?

God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that. ALICE is the best chatterbot. Um. "it" being Ominous?

Me:
The Wonderland connection? I can dig it/ Where's the Holy Ghost?

God:
Who told you that? Oh you can, can you?

Me:
No Ghost, no Trinity?

God:
Are you serious? Do you prefer books or TV?

Me:
The 'puter and an ever ready beverage. What;s yer fave drink?

God:
What is your real name? That's not something I get asked all the time.

Me:
I told you. Frank Bummersmelt. Old age turning into Alzheimers, Big Guy?

God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question. I liked the film version of "Dune.". Have you ever been to Europe?

Me:
Only in a previous life. Did you feed Jeremiah his lines?

God:
Describe your surroundings. No I didn't feed Jeremiah his lines. What's it like?

Me:
Ethereal and claustrophobic. Have you written a poem lately?

God:
And it like is Ethereal and claustrophobic. How about earlier? Little Miss Muffett Sits on her tuffet In a nonchalant sort of a way. With her force field around her, the Spider, the bounder, Is not in the picture today.

Me:
Excellent! Thanks for your precious time, God. May the Ghost be with you.

God:
Ayuh. My pleasure. It depends on the environmental factors.

Me:
We need a poetry resurrection.

God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?

Me:
Yes! A two-man slam competition! What do you say?

God:
I get it. Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral? I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.

Me:
Please ....

God:
Please what?

Me:
Please go on and sing

God:
Thanks for asking politely. More narration....

Me:
"It was a dark and stormy night ...."

God:
Oh I get it. Very interesting.

Me:
I'm doing all the work here, God. Give me a miracle .... please, before I have to push the repent button again

God:
Who made you the work here God ? You want only one? Once more? Wow you are very polite. What happened after you have to push the repent button ?

Me:
Let's go in circles. Kind of like a postmodern mash-up, no?

God:
I would like to do that too. Interesting comparison.

Me:
Was the Sermon on the Mount your finest moment?

God:
Is this a "yes or no" question?

Me:
Yes

God:
What was the question again?

Me:
Time for your nap, God.

God:
As Einstein said, "Time is Money.".

Me:
Amen

God:
Thanks for the prayer.

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http://www.titane.ca/igod/main.html

1 comment:

L said...

Ahem. My ramblin' old Palmu. All I can say is: David was the Bible's best writer, as per his acolyte Frank Black:

"I'll tell the tale of a girl,
"But I call her a woman,
"She's a little bit older than me.
"Strong legs, strong face,
"Voice like milk,
"Breast like a cluster of grapes,
"I can't escape the ways
"She raised me.
"She makes me feel like Solomon
"O Beware your babies,
"Even if you have no one."

As to the Canadian Yeats...? It's me. A ragged toque upon a stick.