Monday Mailbag #5

Dear Tribal Hack:

The Olympic Games have been a bloated production for decades. Shouldn't there be alternative, small-scale fun games with peculiar-to-the-region contests hosted at the same time? Surely there'd be interest in organizing and attending them. And for a tie-in to poetry, why not a puncturing award-bestower for quirky or non-promoted poems/books?

-- Shirley Puzzled



Dear Shirley:

Great ideas! Actually, the former just completed its inaugural tungsten-clusters-in-a-brooch festooned medal ceremonies. Not many knew of the full slate of events since NBC didn't score us any multiple-sawbucks for advertising. But competitors were fierce, and this is my roundabout way to apologize for the late mailbag posting -- I just returned from Vancouver where I collected my top-porch tungsten for indoors elbow-bending. This will be a staple of the summer and winter Soul Limbics, the latter season a last-minute add-on with ice cubes complicating the athletic machinations.

As for a poetry parallel, I'll be organizing an award frenzy once a year, in October, as soon as sponsorship from Staples, Guinness, and Tylenol come through. Criteria for making it onto the short list will include incorporating, seamlessly, the words "marsupial" and "flaming" into the deathless text. More info at a later date.